The Stats:
Weight: 275
Dog bites:1
Well Saturday I ran ten hard miles. I dreaded the run from the beginning. I work on a seven day schedule, which means I work two weekends a month. This past weekend was #1 for the month. I don't mind the weekends usually but in this case I worked a 12 hour shift and had the ten miler to look forward to after that. I was up at 2 a.m. getting ready for work when the thought of my fat ass falling off a treadmill hurtled through my mind. A vision that continued throughout the day. I could smell the sweat and see the rubber tread rubbing my glorious belly to a fine shade of red, teeth scattered round the floor, as if it had already happened. So after work I stopped by Starbucks and had a grande mocha latte to fuel the fire and to serve as a last enjoyment before imminent death. Now you guys know I've ran 13.1 before so you're probably sitting there like "WTF" what is he so worried about? Well that great day was last year, after a nights rest, 16 weeks training and oh yeah I was 25 lbs lighter. I'm only on week five of this plan and it's already got me running long at ten miles. My longest run before the half last year was 10!!!!!!
Back to the story, I arrived at the gym got dressed and did the usual adjusting required when putting on spandex. Mounted up and proceeded to run the first six miles at eleven minute mile pace with surprisingly very little discomfort.They were boring but good miles just the same. That ambitious pace turned out to be a very, very bad idea. At mile seven I suddenly felt exhausted, my legs felt like lead balloon hampering my every movement and doubts quickly started to settle in. Huffing and puffing I pushed on, until I had to stop. The ugly specter of asthma began to rear it's ugly head . I slowed down to a walk and took two puffs of my Albuterol. I walked two minutes and continued on. I made it to mile nine before I stumbled. All those earlier visions came forward like a self fulfilling prophecy, but at the last second I grabbed the oh shit bars and saved myself from near certain injury and total embarrassment At this point I got the hell off the dreadmill, walked around a few seconds and dreamed a dream, a dream of days gone by. I dreamed of days above thirty f'n degrees! Yes that's a "Les Miserable" reference, sorry but you know i'm weird like that. I actually ran the last mile to the soundtrack. Look down, look down don't bust your f'n ass. My new les mis inspired mantra works pretty good.I ended the last mile walking to start and the remainder I ran at just over 12:00, every last step sucked. When I was done I sat down until I could drive although I shouldn't have, since I felt drunk. I made it home safe, collapsed in a pile on the bed and later stumbled into an ice bath......ahhh relief! Ended the night at 8:30 after a dinner of diet Pepsi and my new favorite crack in a box (Trader Joe's Pecan Pralines). It's Tuesday and yes I'm still sore.
Okay it's week six and my fundraising goal isn't going so well. I have $50 in pledges plus my own $80. That put's me at $130. Still $370 from my goal. So if you're reading this please help out. Every dollar counts. Show your favorite SLOW FAT RUNNER some love and support Allergy and Asthma sufferers everywhere.
That's it. Stay tuned for more adventures in food, running and of course self loathing
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