Slow fat backslider.

The Stats:

Weight: 268 lbs

Miles ran in 2012: Who knows. I actually lost count.

Forgive me readers for I have sinned. It's been four months since my last blog. It's also been four months since I've run seriously. I have been running but after I changed shifts from days to midnight's I stopped training for my next half marathon, which was supposed to be today. Midnight's are absolutely ridiculous and makes it damn near impossible to train. It has become evident to me that my lack of running is seriously detrimental to my health. I have gained back every pound that I have lost from training for the first half. This is honestly ridiculous. I am ashamed of myself for what I have become. Today I got some test results that I've been waiting for... cholesterol and pancreatic function. I have high cholesterol but my A1c level was good. So I have increased risk for heart attack and stroke, but I won't go into a diabetic coma anytime soon. So now it's time to do something about this. I'm back on days, so it's time to start training. I plan on running a marathon. Well actually i'm planning on running two marathons next year. The first will be The Christie Clinic Illinois Marathon which is on April 27th. I ran the half marathon last year. I figure since my fat ass needs to have big goals this should be a good precursor to the main event. The second marathon I will be running is the one I have wanted to do since the beginning. The Bank of America Chicago Marathon. In between these two marathons I plan on running no less than five 5k's, three 10k's and at least one half marathon. This sounds like a lot but I want it that way. I want no areas for excuses. No serious downtime. Hopefully along the way I will reach my goal size and for once be content in the skin i'm in. That's it for now. Tomorrow is a new day and I got some training to do. Let me leave you with a recap of some of my biggest sins while I was gone. 

I ate a minimum of 20 boxes of wheat thins during the last four months, drank a minimum of 20 gallons of Pepsi and I don't even want to talk about the cookies. cakes, twinkies and candy that I enjoyed.I'm not proud of it, but I got to get it off my chest. You know what makes me the most ashamed? I have people who have actually become inspired by me and look what I go and do. What kind of example is this?This stuff is going to kill me.....seriously.

Half Marathon Man

Stats:
Weight:253 Lbs
Miles ran on 4/28/12: 13.1 glorious miles in 2:13:14

Coach Laurie and I post race celebration

Post race meal. Six Taco's, pound of potato ole's and a large mountain dew.
 Been waiting four months for this

Yesterday I did it! I completed my first half marathon. I made one more step in the right direction. I took another step towards the new me. Well the old me with a different twist and better fitting clothes. Friday I blogged about how crappy my hotel room was. Well it was still crappy when I left. I slept about five hours that night because I was worried about bed bugs and late night intrusions. Pair that with the trucks and highway noise and you have a recipe for disaster. I got out of bed at 5 A.M. and looked out the window and saw a monsoon. I fell into a immediate panic, but I kept hearing Laurie's words "You have to run through the rain to enjoy the sun". After driving to the race and getting my daughter LiLi to a porta potty (Three and a half year olds and porta potty's do not mix!) I made my way to the starting line. On the way to the starting line I looked up at I hotel located on the campus of the University of Illinois Champaign and noticed a very naked gentelman standing in the window checking out the race. He was perfectly situated at the starting line and letting it all hang out for the thousands of runners to see. 

Yeah so from the beginning of the race it was a very interesting time. I'm not sure if anyone called the cops but they probably should have since he could be seen from the window for at least twenty minutes.

Okay now on to the running. By the time the race started the rain was over, but the wind remained and the 45 degree temps didn't go away either. At the starting line I started shaking and shivering but not because I was cold but because I was getting very nervous. Crazy thing is up until that very point I knew I could do it. To calm down I turned up my iPod and found my center while listening to Niggas in Paris my favorite song from Kanye West and Jay z's last album. By the second time through, my corral was ready to go and so was I. I started out in the coral dedicated to a 2:30 finish and ran a pretty even pace throughout. It was awesome to be in such a large crowd with so many people all going towards the same goal. It was also awesome to see so many supporters and funny signs. At no time DURING running the race did I feel I couldn't do it. The first ten miles were like running on air and once I realized I only had a 5k to go I kicked it up a notch.I even sprinted with another guy at the finish line. I now know I can do anything I put my mind to as long as I put the training in.

Your slow fat runner and Stephanie a  fellow  half marathon virgin and friend.

I am officially hooked on the long distances now. Next race is already planned and starting tomorrow I plan on changing my training up and trying some new things. So stick around it should get real interesting.

The Slow Fat Runner 

1/2 marathon just 12 short hours away.

Stats:
Weight: 253 Lbs
Miles Ran 2012: 276.9

Davis Creek area

Sitting here at this crappy Days Inn (Note to self, never procrastinate when doing a large scale race.)I guess a few prerace notes are in order. Well since last I wrote a few things have happened. I ran with a group for the first time and I ran my longest distance ever with no music. This past Saturday I ran a popular trail (Davis Creek) with three friends. It has outstanding scenery, great wildlife and wicked hills. It even has a cool suspension bridge to run over. We ran eleven miles and it was very fun. I was pushed out of my comfort zone and actually had to talk to people. Which is hard to do while running but not impossible. I found it actually comforting to have others to share my pain with. When you're running with someone you feel free to talk about stuff you might never talk about with others. Personal stuff;good stuff, bad stuff and the stuff that ultimately makes you human. Now to actually get to all that stuff you need to be able to hear, which calls for no music. I have always hated running without the buds. I only do it occasionally to hear my foot strikes and to gauge my breathing but otherwise it's strictly AC/DC, Rage Against the Machine and dance music unless it's long runs and then who knows what might pop up on my playlist. I've had days where Michael Buble has come on right after Tupac. Back to the talking, I didn't miss the music because of the conversation and honestly I think I gained something from being able to hear nature and the water rushing down the river and all that jazz. It was all in all a excellent adventure.

Tomorrow I will be running my first half marathon at the Illinois Marathon. I have my race haircut so I better be fast. It will probably be windy, rainy and cold. I don't care though. I came down here to complete a goal and that's exactly what is going to happen. This has been a interesting journey full of ups and downs. I have grown a lot through this experience and know that I can do anything that I put my mind to now.I wish I had spent more time cross training and paid a bit more attention to my food intake(I missed my goal by three freaking pounds) but oh well it's now or never time to put up or shut up. I'm going to bed now tomorrow is going to be a long day.


The Slow Fat Runner

Oceans Eleven.....miles that is.

Stats:

Weight: 256 lbs

Days on a food binge: 10

I ran 11 miles this past Sunday! Another personal record on my way to 13.1. I woke up extra early with hopes of beating the rain. Thirty minutes into the run my dreams of a perfect day were ruined. Thunder claps boomed around me and the skies opened up, rain drops were falling on my head, slowly at first but then a raging crescendo of storm was unleashed upon me. I was three miles from home and the wind was gusting at 20 to 30 mph. With nowhere to hide and no friends houses nearby I did what any sane person would do. I put my head down and took that bastard on. I would not be defeated by any damn storm. After 20 minutes the storm subsided or maybe I just out ran it. The aftermath was not something I was ready to deal with. You see I have been avoiding running in rain all year. I have even gone so far as running my long run on the treadmill to escape the wet nasty grip of rain. My coach, Laurie has been on my ass since the beginning of the year to go out and run in the elements regardless of how bad they may look because "you have to run in the rain to enjoy the sunshine." Sometimes I can't stand that little sprite, but I have to admit it she was on the money this time. At mile five when the rain stopped I was greeted by glorious sunshine and soaking wet socks. Socks that rubbed my feet the wrong way for the entire remainder of the run until I got two blisters on the top of my feet. Those blisters have been a pain in my ass all week, as a matter of fact I even skipped a run because of them. Oh well you live and you learn. The main thing I took from this whole experience is that weather is not necessarily a enemy. The wind is a terrible d-bag when  running into it but on the way back it's like that old friend who you drink pints with. I also have to admit that yes you do have to have bad times to really totally appreciate the good times. When I ran on Wednesday in the nice sun with low wind it felt so much better than usual.

My dinner plate

Okay guys I have been consistently losing weight despite myself. Since Easter Sunday I have completely fell off the wagon. I knew it would happen eventually and overindulging on Easter definitely helped set it off.I have eaten multiple boxes of Rasinets, Wheat Thins, half a dozen donuts, two bags of pop corn, a shitload of candy bars, at least 10-15 small bags of chips. There's more too! I'm not even listing all the burgers and fries, barbeque  and fried chicken. Yet I am still losing weight (down 24 lbs for the year) . Apparently my metabolism is back to where it used to be. All these long runs and weightlifting are finally starting to take effect. Yesterday I tried to get this whole thing back on track by eating somewhat good. I had mostly fruit and cereal, no pop (which I was consuming by the liter) and actually had a small dinner. So let's see what happens. Next week is my half marathon plus I have two 5ks coming up so that should keep my mind off of food for awhile. Peace out.

The Slow Fat Runner

Second 10 miler, Fast 5k

Stats:

Weight: 259 lbs

Mileage for 2012: 236.8

Pounds of honey baked ham consumed: 1 very delicious pound

First and foremost happy Easter every one!Not only a celebration of Jesus' Resurrection but a reason for the slow fat runner to throw out all the rules and eat until I can't eat anymore.

Last week I ran my first 5k of the year. Finished with a time of 27:10, which isn't a personal record but still is pretty good considering my pr is 26:45 and I now weigh 45 pounds more than then. One friend can be quoted as saying I looked like a gazelle as I ran the course. Now never in my life have I been compared to anything other than a turtle or perhaps on a good day a charging bull, but apparently that day I was really moving. It was cold which I love because it's actually easier for me to breathe when the humidity is low and the temps are between 30 and 50 degrees Fahrenheit. Pair that with the excitement of running the first race of the year and you have the makings of a 8th place finish in my age range. Something that is truly shocking to me. Granted numbers 1-3 finished in 21 minutes but hey it's still fills  feels good. I have completed my half marathon training and  have now went into maintenance mode. I'm running the same schedule as the last week of training only I'm trying to run a little more every day for example instead of 5 miles on Tuesday and Thursday I'm targeting 5.5 to 6 on those days. I ran my second 10 miler today, but I think I'm gonna move up next week and try the full 13.1. I was able to run all 10 miles at a consistent 6 mile per hour pace. Compared to the one I ran two weeks ago that I ran at a erratic at times 11:17 pace. I'm 20 days out from the half marathon it's about time I put these legs to the test. I'm really quite curious about the distance and am tired of waiting to run the race so I might as well just go ahead and bust it out. Right?

I have now been running consistently for over 90 days. I am a runner. I am a work in progress. I am getting stronger with every workout. I am able to pace myself. I am addicted to the runners high. I hate getting the runners high at mile two and not feeling it again for the rest of the damn run. I love people realizing my changing physique took actual work, it didn't come from a pill or some fad diet. No it is actually happening because I am putting one foot in front of the other time and time again. That's it folks. I love my readers and I love my new friends I've met through running. Please leave comments and follow my adventures as I move towards my half marathon and beyond to my first full.

THE SLOW FAT RUNNER

My first 10 miler!

Stats:

260 lbs ( 10 away from goal #1)

196.4 miles ran this year

5 weeks out from 1/2 marathon

Yesterday I ran my first 10 miler. I need to admit that I was dreading this undertaking all week. Not only was I dreading the run I was dreading the after effects. I was scared of this day. Deep down inside I felt like there was no way I could ever do this. Cut to me sobbing like a little girl as I reach mile ten in front of my house. It's really quite embarrassing to admit that I cried like that but I guess I better get used to it ,because something is telling me when I run this half marathon and finish I am gonna look like my three year old after a time out. I added two new things to my long run this week. I added GU™ and I added water. I finally got one of those strap on water bottles to run with. Two things about this 1) water gets hot when you hold it and 2) after five miles it gets heavy even if it's only 20 ounces! The water really helped though. Instead of having a sandpaper tongue for the last seven miles I could actually lick my lips and believe it or not I was actually able to keep my mind on running and not my imminent death from dehydration. Tombstone reads: here lies idiot who runs without water. As I mentioned above I added GU™ to my runs as well. GU™ or at least the variety I tried is like a mutated gummy bear or fruit snack. It didn't taste bad. I had the blueberry pomegranate flavor. Around the one hour mark I ate half the pack and took in some water because this stuff is super sticky and has a somewhat overpowering flavor profile and consistency once chewed. I'm not really sure if it helped my run at all but I do know that it almost came back up at mile seven. 

Me after the 10 miler. 

Looking over the stats i'm really proud of myself! I ran ten miles in 1:53:22 at a average pace of 5.3 mph.  Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined this possible. When I was a fat kid struggling to complete the mile during the Presidential Fitness Test every year in school (that really should be banned, along with the rope climb) I felt betrayed by my asthmatic lungs and supersized thighs and ashamed to need to walk three quarters of a mile when most of the other guys were just sprinting along. To this day I still see that kid in the mirror, but when I get done running I see a smile on his face. That smile is priceless and worth every bit of pain that came before it. Peace out.

THE SLOW FAT RUNNER

9.3 set me free.

Stats:

263 lbs

Miles ran this year:172.9

I ran 9.3 miles this weekend. It took an abysmally long 1:46:35 (that's one hour forty six minutes and thirty five seconds for the uninitiated stat geek)   My slowest mile was 12:32 which i'm not really sure can even be called running. I think my grandma could have pulled that with her two plastic knees and cane. On the bright side I did run two sub eleven minute miles during this death march. Okay maybe i'm exagerating a bit here. It wasn't quite a death march but it was extremely hard. You know usually i'm very upbeat about my runs and how I'm overcoming the odds and kicking ass, but not this time. The night before this run I was suffering from mild gastrointestinal discomfort but that didn't stop me from going to my friends birthday get together at our local brewery/restaurant. While there I had about five beers, some soft pretzel sticks, a gallon of cheddar bacon potato soup and as if that wasn't enough I topped it off with half a loaf of mini garlic bread covered in spinach and cheese dip. Let me describe this dip though. Parmesan,swiss and cream cheeses blended with chopped spinach. Also known as the lactose intolerant slow fat runners down fall. So at 7 am I woke up and got ready to run. I felt horrible. Dehydrated and bloated at the same time, but those miles weren't gonna run themselves. First mile hurt. Second mile felt good. Miles three to six felt ok. Mile 7 I hit a wall of pain and discomfort. I felt my intestines shudder and my knees shake. I had to walk for a few seconds to regroup but kept moving on ,albeit at a much slower pace. The remaining miles are kind of a blur. Somewhere between clinching my butt cheeks, fighting off a mouth that seemed to be as arid as the Sahara desert and dodging the dog shit all over the sidewalk on Cardinal drive (seriously how hard is it to bag that crap) I had an epiphany. I CAN run a half marathon and probably a full one. It might take a while but as long as I put one foot in front of the other nothing can stop me.Okay I am a little positive.

If you didn't notice I lost two pounds since last I wrote. I really have been cheating quite frequently. Dedication to diet has been severely lacking. I plan on spending the next six weeks with more focus though. I actually will stretch and strengthen as i'm supposed to and log ALL my food in! I want to be 250 pounds before I run this thing and I know it can be done. Thanks for listening.

The slow fat runner