be back soon

I'll be writing again starting next week! For the few followers I still have get ready for a raw, uncut slow fat runner.

Marathon

Stats:
Marathons ran - 1
Days of recovery before running after said marathon - 7
Weight - 262 lbs (yep time off = weight gain)
Miles ran this year - 396.9
Money raised for charity - $772.00 (Blew away my goal)

So yeah I ran a marathon. I completed one of my goals. Why do I now feel so damn blah? It's not like I don't have goals left to accomplish. I mean I have some 5ks to run and a half marathon or two to complete still this year, but I honestly don't have all that much gumption left. The moment I crossed that finish line was so awesome! It felt like my wedding day, my daughters adoption day it was just such a great rush of emotions. I fear I might never feel something quite like that. I wish I knew what to do.

Brief race recap: It was a beautiful day! No rain! Great crowd and a great course except for all the damn hills. They claim its a flat course I just don't see it! I ran way too fast for the first 12 miles (11:00 pace). I was supposed to be running a 12:00 pace. I paid for it around mile 15 and started cramping all over the place.  I stopped and text messaged my coach Laurie, she advised slow down and drink and GU it up. It worked and I continued with minor cramping for the remainder of the run. Honestly the run was not horrible it was hard but not half as bad as I thought it would be. I guess that's why you do all that training. Anyway, along the way I saw some cool stuff. Beautiful architecture abound in some areas of the course and some of the signs along the way were absolutely hilarious. Specifically the one that read "You can't quit, you're not the pope" as a Catholic I couldn't help but crack up. The finish in the stadium was super awesome. As I ran into the stadium I heard one of my reasons for running my little cousin Joi announcing my entrance. That was absolutely awesome! It was so great to have and hear all my family and friends cheer me on.

The aftermath: I had a asthma attack in the car, but had my nebulizer handy. My knees still feel wonky and I now have 3 new black toe nails! My shoes are dead as well. They couldn't handle another mile if their life depended on it. I'm also kinda depressed for some odd reason.

Thank yous: I couldn't have done this without my beautiful wife supporting me through out the last four months. She praised me when I needed it and kicked me in the ass when I didn't feel like running. She dealt with being a runners widow like a champ and never once got pissed at me for being gone so long. I also thank Lou Lou my coach and Barb my naughty teacher and giver of the GU. I also thank all those who donated to my cause.

20 days

The Stats:
Weight - 261lbs
Times been chased by a Chihuahua - 3
Miles ran this year - 316
Money raised for charity - $375 (so close yet so far!)

So I am 20 days away from running my first marathon. I've been training pretty steady and missed only one long run. Thursday I ran 20 miles.The longest distance my plan calls for. So finally I am living in the sweet merciful time known as taper. Just a quick recap of the 20. 16 easy miles, two miles of hell and then two more miles of hell. That's how it went and honestly I don't know how I finished it. I'm supposed to run 6 more miles after running 20. I have no idea how the hell I'm going to do that! I went from running 11:30 miles for 15 miles to ending with 14:00 miles! I got home and seriously thought I was dying after that run. I was steps away from calling my wife and telling her I loved her it was a good life see you on the other side. Tack 6 more miles on there and I'm sure I will die. 260 pound men are not supposed to run for 5 hours.
God, Mother Nature or whoever you believe in did not intend for my fat ass to do this. Okay I'm done wallowing in my lack of self confidence. Hey I'm running this for a great cause. If you're reading this and you have donated thank you. If you're reading this and you call me a friend and you haven't donated I'm starting to question our friendship. Yep it's that cut and dry for me right now. I'm usually not this blunt but honestly I'm asking for dollar donations not tens, not twenties but $1 bills. So if you feel guilty now go to my firstgiving website

http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/slowfatrunner/christieclinicillinoismarathon

Or call me and I'll come pick it up.

You gotta believe!

The stats:
Weight - 266 lbs
Miles ran this year - 235
Funds raised for charity - $245

You know I've come along way since my last post. I went from having a personal record distance of 13.1 miles to 16 miles. I have lost about 8 lbs. I have regained a bit of my belief in humanity. Running all these miles this year has been a exercise in solitary thought. When I run ,I work through problems at home, problems that society struggles with like race relations and the economy and I think about the people who I call friends. Sometimes I pray and sometimes I just lift my face to the sun soaking in all the rays and enjoying nature at its best. Through all the huffs and puffs and the constant trotting of my feet I listen to earths song. Train whistles, ambulance sirens and barking dogs somehow create a beautiful symphony that can truly only be enjoyed while moving through space on your own two feet. You're probably reading this wondering "why is he taking us through his process?" Well I am because I want you to know that I've added some people to my runs. Now when I run I am going to think about those who were so generous in supporting me with their time, money and advice. You will become part of my focus. Thank you.

Update:
Just yesterday I ran 17 miles and you guys pushed me along as much as my own will and determination.

I dreamed a dream

The Stats:

Weight: 275
Dog bites:1




   Well Saturday I ran ten hard miles. I dreaded the run from the beginning. I work on a seven day schedule, which means I work two weekends a month. This past weekend was #1 for the month. I don't mind the weekends usually but in this case I worked a 12 hour shift and had the ten miler to look forward to after that. I was up at 2 a.m. getting ready for work when the thought of my fat ass falling off a treadmill hurtled through my mind. A vision that continued throughout the day. I could smell the sweat and see the rubber tread rubbing my glorious belly to a fine shade of red, teeth scattered round the floor, as if it had already happened. So after work I stopped by Starbucks and had a grande mocha latte to fuel the fire and to serve as a last enjoyment before imminent death. Now you guys know I've ran 13.1 before so you're probably sitting there like "WTF" what is he so worried about? Well that great day was last year, after a nights rest, 16 weeks training and oh yeah I was 25 lbs lighter. I'm only on week five of this plan and it's already got me running long at ten miles. My longest run before the half last year was 10!!!!!!
     Back to the story, I arrived at the gym got dressed and did the usual adjusting required when putting on spandex. Mounted up and proceeded to run the first six miles at eleven minute mile pace with surprisingly very little discomfort.They were boring but good miles just the same. That ambitious pace turned out to be a very, very bad idea. At mile seven I suddenly felt exhausted, my legs felt like lead balloon hampering my every movement and doubts quickly started to settle in. Huffing and puffing I pushed on, until I had to stop. The ugly specter of asthma began to rear it's ugly head . I slowed down to a walk and took two puffs of my Albuterol. I walked two minutes and continued on. I made it to mile nine before I stumbled. All those earlier visions came forward like a self fulfilling prophecy, but at the last second I grabbed the oh shit bars and saved myself from near certain injury and total embarrassment  At this point I got the hell off the dreadmill, walked around a few seconds and dreamed a dream, a dream of days gone by. I dreamed of days above thirty f'n degrees! Yes that's a "Les Miserable" reference, sorry but you know i'm weird like that. I actually ran the last mile to the soundtrack. Look down, look down don't bust your f'n ass. My new les mis inspired mantra works pretty good.I ended the last mile walking to start and the remainder I ran at just over 12:00, every last step sucked. When I was done I sat down until I could drive although I shouldn't have, since I felt drunk. I made it home safe, collapsed in a pile on the bed and later stumbled into an ice bath......ahhh relief! Ended the night at 8:30 after a dinner of diet Pepsi and my new favorite crack in a box (Trader Joe's Pecan Pralines). It's Tuesday and yes I'm still sore.

Okay it's week six and my fundraising goal isn't going so well. I have $50 in pledges plus my own $80. That put's me at $130. Still $370 from my goal. So if you're reading this please help out. Every dollar counts. Show your favorite SLOW FAT RUNNER  some love and support Allergy and Asthma sufferers everywhere.

DONATE HERE

That's it. Stay tuned for more adventures in food, running and of course self loathing

You're as cold as ice. You're willing to sacrifice our skin.

The Stats:
Weight: No clue my scale broke!
Miles in 2012: 25
Days til marathon: 107

Well hello everyone. I have been infrequently updating this blog over the past few months, but I shall be blogging weekly while I train for my first marathon. I am still fat, asthmatic and full of fear and angst. The one thing that has changed is my reasons for running. I still want to be thin and have that Vin Diesel, Brad Pitt, Tyrese body. but honestly that shit is never gonna happen. That being said I have decided to run for charity and myself. A little more pressure on myself plus I get the added perk of helping people through helping myself. 

Okay on to the training. I am in the middle of my second week of training  I am training outdoors most of the time unlike in the past. Let me just tell you it is colder than hell out there. Last year when I did outdoor running it was in neighborhoods with plenty of cover and trees everywhere, since I moved to a slightly more rural area I now find myself running out in the open sometimes with wind gusts of 20-30 mph. To counteract all this cold air I have purchased some under armor cold gear. Compression tops and bottoms.Let me paint you a picture. Basically I look like a fat ass pig in an extremely tight blanket. You can only compress fat so much I've found. I have new lumps and bumps in places that used to be strictly for man boobs and an over sized ass. Throw a t-shirt on and shorts, gloves a beanie hat and my shoes and now you have a uncomfortable but not cold Slow Fat Runner. All that gear actually makes me a Slower Fat Runner which I didn't think was possible. In the last two weeks I have had lots of fun on the road by myself, I've been bitten by a yippy chihuahua and I've listened to some really bad music. You're probably wondering how bad the music could be. It's Peter Cetera bad. Gagnam style bad. Sprinkle in some Chicago, Milli Vanilli and the Les Miserables sound track and you got what I've been running to. On their own in moderation none of the aforementioned is too bad but when you're on the road and struggling in the wind they can get real bad real quick.As my coach Lou Lou would say "That's Christian Rock"  I have remedied this today with a new playlist featuring Metallica, Rage against the Machine a wee bit of Rolling Stones and a touch of AC/DC. This should keep me moving for a while.Stay tuned for more and continue following me throughout the training process. Also please help me reach my fundraising goal. Go Here!

Marathon 1st day

Hey guys. I started training for my marathon today. I'm running it for a good cause that is very near and dear to my heart. The Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America. If you click on the link you can make donations to this very worthy cause. I will also take offline donations from those who are so inclined. If you're here then you are likely a friend of mine or a follower of my blog. You know that I and many members of my family struggle with Asthma and Allergies on a daily basis. I chose this charity not to help myself but to help my daughter who suffers from asthma, along with my cousin Joi who also struggles with the disease and many allergies as well. I want the next generation to have access to better medications than I was afforded growing up and I would love to see more people educated on the dangers of these conditions. Last year I got my Asthma under control for the first time ever truly (I thought) and was able to run a half marathon. When I was done I knew there was only one more thing to do, run a full marathon. Please cheer me on, donate or just keep an eye out for me on the side of the road. You can follow my progress here and donate at http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/slowfatrunner/christieclinicillinoismarathon